Tag Archives: Pop-Culture

A Fairytale Wedding…

29 Apr

Many of us cherish our sleep so much that we are willing to press on that “Snooze” buttom five hundred times until the last minute when we literally have to RUN out of our houses/apts. to start our days. We may skip breakfast or a good morning work-out to start off our day because we are soooo busy and time is key. However, many of the people falling within this category  have been up since 4am this morning!  Why?! Well if you can’t answer this question then you simply haven’t been watching the news! Its the Royal Wedding!

William & Kate Middleton have just wed and its all many people talk about! From hosting Wedding parties in the city to buying memorabilia, this wedding has become another event thanks to our strong pop culture within our society.  However, this is another event that in my opinion represents our social and political hypocrisy…much which many choose to ignore.

Social hypocrisy — mostly because its a wedding between two strangers which most of us have absolutely no personal connection. A wedding between what some media sources have called a wedding between a “commoner” and a Prince. A wedding representing what many women dream of! However, its only a binding social contract in which from the first day of their courtship consisted of obligations and responsibilities mostly on her part. A contract which dictates how she will smile, how she’ll be referred to, what she will wear, what she can or cannot do PERIOD! Less we not forget another Royal Wedding in which many women dreamed to be in that other woman’s place, William’s mother, the late Diana. A fairytale wedding in which many women dreamed of (and continue dreaming of as we’ve witnessed in bridal shows and the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent just for a few hours by future marital couples). But many will not mention the fairytale turned nightmare of the years following Diana. A nightmare in which is part of a reality in which many choose to ignore; consisting of adultery, bulimia, attempted suicide, depression along with all the other obligations she was forced to conform to once married. That is why I find it funny many so-called feminists or women who like to use the word “Independent” countless times would actually sit in front of a television at 4am, travel to Buckingham palace, or  purchase memorabilia…simply being part of this hype, salivating over an event such as this.

Political Hypocrisy — The definition of a monarchy: “is a form of government in which all political power is passed down to an individual (usually hereditary) known as a monarch (“single ruler”). In a time where even democratically voted in leaders are labeled dictators, monarchies are sole examples of dictatorships. They were initially forms of governments which claimed they had a divine right to rule over people and most ruled over many…RUTHLESSLY! Both British and Spanish monarchies will and are going down in history as ruthless forms of governments which colonized (and in Britain’s situation continues to colonize) many countries. The American Revolution, the Bolivarian Revolution are two grande examples of the result of colonization. As many of us have learned in our elementary, middle, secondary and higher education classes monarchies go down in history as bearers of plagues, genocide, diseases and rape among social diseases as well. So my question is why do they continue to exist? While the British monarchy is not an official form of government, it continues to be influential in its current one as well as its society. And while we attack other countries for holding what many believe are dictatorships or symbols of such, the symbol of who colonized the United States is admired?

So as many watch and continue to follow this event, not only will I refuse to refer to any of those figures as Prince/Princess/Queen; nor will I dress up to go out to a wedding party/reception (I boycotted the idea even on MY wedding day). Instead I will be productive with myself and relax for tomorrow’s Drag Race Event in Maryland 😀

 

What is a Wedding?

20 Aug

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, the divorce rate is up at 41% in the United States for first marriages, 60% for second and 74% for third marriages.  Thanks to pop-culture, weddings have their own channels and shows such as Bridezilla, Girl Meets Gown, My Fair Wedding…amongst many others.  Many women wait for “The One” to go down in one knee and ask those magic words…”Will You Marry Me?”  As one tears, cries, screams, jumps or expresses any form of positive emotion of happiness, “YES!!” is more than likely the answer or any other synonym with the same definition.  At that moment family and friends are notified and thus begins a joyous event, Planning for the BIG DAY!! And as months pass by—usually six months to a year– everything becomes “ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE”.  This pattern tirelessly resonates through various sources of media enforcing a Twilight Zone Version of what I would like to call “Zombie Queens”.

Simone De Beauvoir’s Second Sex, explores in a perplexive manner how women have always managed to remain as the Other, individuals inferior to men in all aspects.  And at one point explores women and their significance to their role of inferiority in society.  The refusal to denounce and reject certain aspects they deem as comfort while rejecting others does not entirely eliminate the superior-inferior relationship men and women have in society.  This is clearly evident in American culture.  As boyfriend and girlfriend, women claim independence, yet many expect men to pay for dinner or take them out.  When one is engaged, their female peers anxiously await the sight of the ring, so it could be valued. (Didn’t know Love had value?).  The story of how he proposed is another method of measuring the love and respect a man has for the woman that is to be his wife.  And finally, a wedding is defined by the amount of guests, invitations, dress, cake, and whatever else will lead to debt and headaches….all to make a woman feel like a Queen??  I don’t think so….

As a Latina, weddings are the Happily Ever After in all novelas.  Family and friends together in a church…the bride all in white, saying “Si, Te Amo” to the man of her dreams after so much drama and struggle for the last six months airing in Telemundo or Univision.  The concept is similar all over the world, but how it is done or percieved is very different…trust me, I’ve lived in two worlds my whole life.  Now, as my turn approaches, the wedding spotlight has turned to my partner and I.  And how WE have chosen to do it, results in criticism as we do not abide by the conventional notions of what a wedding or two people getting married looks like.

My rejection of “All About the Bride”, “Queen for A Day” or my reluctance to constantly babble about my wedding to whomever I talk to has led individuals to believe or question the emotion, called love and my individuality as a woman…or atleast what is perceived as independence within our society.  Most of all my behavior apparently resonates how a man typically perceives a wedding to be….just another thing in life.  Yet my rejection for conventional notions of a wedding is my rejection to being, Simone De Beauvoir’s, the Other.

As a little girl, I did not grow up thinking I was a Princess nor did I dream of my wedding day to be my day.  A wedding is a union of two people in love, who both decide to come together to share their life as equals.  It is a part of life, nothing more.  The anticipation of a wedding has become more crucial than the question whether two people can remain together and respect each other as equals.   The question of what is to come after the BIG DAY?, has been lost in translation somewhere in the question of when and how the wedding will be?  Many women absorb themselves in the hype.  All the same questions are asked by many brides…the napkins, the hall, the church, the dress, the make-up, the gifts…and so on. In result, as people who have gone to more than one wedding can attest to they all end up the same, just different styles, locations, colors and dates.  And when the BIG DAY turns into yesterday,and there are bills to pay, the inability to pay rent or a mortgage or another type of loan, or your partner gets “boring” — more than likely that QUEEN, turns into another statistic.

The unity between two beings–regardless of sex or gender, should be the union of equals.  Notions of respect and equality should resonate.  And that is what should be present as two people approach just another event in their lives.  The how a wedding was celebrated question and expectation resonated by many women only objectifies us and sustains our status of inferiority in society.  The question of how a wife or partner should be treated in a marriage should be of importance instead…not an over-commercialized, overrated notion of what a wedding should be.